Pointless

Yes this is pointless. Very dull. *rimshot* Double meaning, you figure it out. Not funny when someone has to explain the joke. See, I wrote too much it's not funny anymore.

It's been a week since the Australian Open started. Don't care as much now since my favorite player Amélie Mauresmo lost. Then a couple hours later A-Rod lost. James Blake (2nd favorite player and 2nd in your hearts) is going to play Roger Federererer so he'll be gone soon. Blah.

In other news I love my Ipod. It can beat up your dad. I was watching the AOTS podcast and they had this really cool thing and something in me just had to get it so I ordered it and it should be here by the end of the week hopefully.

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Everyone remember, do not use ROTFLMAO. The new catchier one is:
ROTFLMMFGDAOWEPCAGSWWAFIMMAPMPASFBTCBBINDYTIFMP
Which obviously means:
rollin on the floor laughing my mother fucking god damn ass off while eating potato chips and gargling salt water with a frog in my mouth and pooping my pants also screaming for Bobby to come back because I’m not done yet then I forgot my pants

Summer SUCKS!

I hate summer. I can't say it enough. I hate it.

These are reasons why summer is the WORST time of year:

- It’s hot

I have naturally thick, curly hair. Heat + thick curly hair = frizz!

You can’t get cooled off! Winter is fun, when you’re cold put on a sweatshirt or get under the covers. Easy. When you’re hot, it’s impossible to cool off.

- Bugs

Mosquitoes, flies, ants, bees, and spiders. ‘Nuff said.

- You sweat and people are smelly

- Neighbors are always outside making so much damn noise

Fuck you Tony! Fuck you guy with the cute dog! Fuck you people living in the yellow house! But mostly, fuck you Tony! Asshole.

- The sun is too bright

When I wake up and the sun is shining in my room, preventing me from going back to sleep, I always get a pounding headache.

- Summer puts me in a cranky mood

Have you noticed?

- Have I mentioned bugs?


If you like summer, you’re a fucking idiot. And I hate you.

There Is A God

Yes there is a God. I finally have found the long awaited proof. The 2006 Oakland Raiders beat the Super Bowl Champs. Yes I repeat, the 2006 Oakland Raiders beat the Super Bowl winning Pittsburgh Steelers. The Oakland Raiders who many people have called and still call, the worst team in the league. The Oakland Raiders who have been called “the biggest joke in all of sports.” The Oakland Raiders who one guy said couldn’t beat Ohio State if they played. The Oakland Raiders who so many said would go 0-16. Yes those Oakland Raiders beat the Super Bowl Champions. Oh how sweet it is!

People are blaming the loss on Ben Roethlisberger. Of course! Why on earth actually give credit to the Raider defense? Their pass defense is ranked #1 might I add. The Steelers still have Troy Polamalu, the outstanding linebacker core, the outstanding offensive line, Hines Ward, Willie Parker, and the coaching staff they had when they won the Super Bowl. Yeah and the Raidahs beat their ass! So I can gloat about this win as much as I damn well want to!

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Win, lose, or tie, RAIDER FAN TIL’ I DIE!

Are republicans Really Pro-Life?

There is a new book out called the “Party of Death.” The author talks about how the Democratic party is the party of death. In explaining why he thinks they are, he mainly talked about abortion and that got me thinking. Abortion isn’t the only way we kill people in this country. Have these conservative idiots not heard of the death penalty? How can conservative republicans call themselves “pro-life” when they will willingly shove a needle in someone’s arm and kill them? Lethal injection was invented by the Nazi’s. Parts of Nazism lives on through conservatives. Way to go!

This Makes Me Laugh So Hard

Caption: Fifth grader Catherine Johnson tries on a space suit worn by astronaut Neil Armstrong when he walked on the moon

Awesome Car

There are smart people where I live.

Lazy Day, Weird Night

I am so lazy. Usually I’m proud to say I’m lazy but I think I’m too lazy. Not just physically either. My laziness has now gone to my speaking. I was talking to Marcie on the phone and we were talking about shopping. We were talking about an Angels and Airwaves shirt we both liked and I said, “Did you get the shir. . .tuh. Shirt?” I’m too lazy to say the word shirt. I can only say ‘shir.’ Pathetic.

Last night was freaky. I hope it was the drugs (relax nothing illegal, just sinus medicine) I was taking and I was just dreaming it but I doubt that. I was flipping through the channels and I stopped on TLC, I think. I’ve never watched TLC. What’s it stand for Tender Lesbian Care? Anyway there was this show called “The Messengers” on and these people went to a coroner’s place or something. (There’s probably a proper name for the place but I don’t know it.) And these people went in it and were showed all the unclaimed dead bodies there. They were wrapped in plastic and put on tables. Then 3 people were looking through a tiny window on a door and I guess someone inside was cutting open someone’s skull to get the brain out and they had already cut open his chest. That was just too much for me. Even though they didn’t show it, the people looking at it were describing it and I wanted to puke my guts out. Then that got me thinking about dying and I don’t want to die! No one knows where we go or what happens after we take our last breath. Do we just sleep for eternity? Do we go to Heaven or Hell? Is there a waiting room for either place? Is there reincarnation? I hope there is reincarnation. I want to be an old, rich, white guy who has sex with younger women. Donald Trump basically. Except I’d rather be bald than have his hair.

Prediction: Top 5 worst NFL teams of 2006

Based on a couple pre-season games, the off-season, and injuries, I’m going to make my prediction for the top 5 worst NFL teams of the 2006 season.

1. Buffalo Bills
They have a quarterback situation there that has been going on since last season. Personally, I think Losman is a dud and they should start Holcomb until they get a real starter. They had a horrible draft, lost their best WR Eric Moulds, and also other starters on the defense and offense. I predict a 3 win season.

2. Cleveland Browns
Their receivers are average at best and their QB has thrown more INT’s than TD’s. They lost their starting Center and then another one got hurt. I think they’re on their 3rd or 4th string Center. That is NOT good for a young QB. I predict a 3 maybe 4 win season. [Also, why the hell did they change their face masks from white to gray? I loved the white face masks that them and the Gaints used to have.]

3. Green Bay Packers
Brett Favre should NOT have come back for this season. He had a horrible season last year and I think a big reason is because he lost 2 of his o-lineman. And this season, he lost his Center. They lost their best WR and their WR core now is below average. INT’s galore this season. If they win games, it’ll be because of the defense. No thanks to Favre and the offense. I predict a 4 win season.

4. Oakland Raiders
It hurts me to say it but I think it’s true. My boys aren’t going to do good this year. I had hope with them bringing in a mobile quarterback in Aaron Brooks but he can’t throw the damn ball! Is it possible for him to make at least 2 completions in a quarter? Gosh! I say bench Brooks and put in the 2nd year man Andrew Walter. He’s the future so give him his time to develop as a quarterback and to Hell with this season. Their biggest problem is the O-line. The head coach is a Hall of Fame lineman so you’d think he’d be able to do something with it but it doesn’t look like it. If they traded the unhappy Porter for some good o-lineman it would help. I predict a 4 maybe 5 at best season.

5. Houston Texans
What was the problem with the Texans last year? Sacks, sacks, and sacks. So to help they draft a defensive player and skip the Heisman winner, Reggie Bush. They deserve a no win season for passing on Reggie Bush! When the other teams rushes them, Reggie Bush could’ve taken the ball, did some fancy twists and turns, get away from the defense, and go 30 yards down field. But they did get Eric Moulds from the Bills and I don’t think they can do more worse than last year so I predict a 5 win season.

Watch I bet I’ll be right, bitches! Or not.